MC At Suburban Cricket Fundraiser Sensationally Lands Edgy Joke About Club Captain’s ‘Middle Stump’ — The Betoota Advocate

MC At Suburban Cricket Fundraiser Sensationally Lands Edgy Joke About Club Captain's 'Middle Stump' — The Betoota Advocate


It was on for young and old last night at the inaugural Betoota Dugongs sportsman’s fundraiser dinner, as our town’s finest grade cricketers and their families gathered to raise money to send the under 16s side one a once in a lifetime tour of Bangladesh.

The opportunity for the juniors to visit the subcontinent for the first three weeks of October was one that the greater Dugong community could not let slip away – with the club raising upwards of $12,000 to cover flights and hostels for the lads.

With pre-season squad training well underway, last night’s dinner was also the last chance many of the more competitive players would have to drink full-strength lager to the point of being unable to string a sentence together.

And the Dugongs ‘night of nights’ did not disappoint!

From the 3 hour auction, with prized items such as a signed pair of Danny Geale’s boxing gloves and a vintage 1996 Adelaide Rams jersey, to the coveted meat raffle.

3rds manager Frank ‘Spank’ Merlotti ended up taking home the lucky haul from Roddy’s Butcher: a breathtaking 24 kilos of sirloin and kanga-bangers. That should land you in a good paddock hey Spanky!

However, the highlight of the night had to be the razor sharp wit and rib-bruising banter of the evening’s MC.

Former bistro manager for the Dugong’s club, Ashley Burleigh, was handed a microphone at 7pm, and kept it running hot until last drinks at 3:30 am.

Ashleigh started strong with a hilarious ‘lookalikes’ skit, complete with a powerpoint of celebrity doppelgängers – and laser pointer to single out the rude heads in the crowd.

While he flew pretty close to the sun of MORE THAN A FEW occassions, the MC extraordinaire has recieved praise from even the canteen mums for his ability to walk the line between cheeky and obscene!

However, it was his joke about club captain Angus Bliss that drew the most riotous laughter, as Ash made a point of mentioning the well-appendaged skipper’s ‘MIDDLE STUMP’ in a hilarious rant that merged rather explicit topics with mundane cricketing terminology.

An absolute cracker, and we’ll be sure to get him back next year.

The under 17s will fly out to the Bangladeshi capital of Dhaka tomorrow, and will compete in thirteen matches against provincial rural sides with an average of 38 degrees every day. Good luck lads!

Author: Stephen Bailey