Mate Who Insists On Walking Home Maggoted Told To Get In The Uber Nedd Brockmann — The Betoota Advocate

Mate Who Insists On Walking Home Maggoted Told To Get In The Uber Nedd Brockmann — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local loose cannon has this weekend been forcibly pinned down by his mates after yet again getting a little belligerent on the piss, it’s reported.

It’s alleged Nick McClymont [27] was spotted hitting the Betoota entertainment district on Friday night with his legion of cretins, who were kicking off the silly season early with an impromptu pub crawl starting with some $5 basics at the Prince Albert Hotel and finishing up at the CBD’s worst rated nightclub, The Nite Spot.

Growing increasingly louder and more obnoxious the more schooners he sunk, Nick’s mates should have been well warned of his impending tyranny by the time he started dropping the c bomb at a rate of one per sentence, or at least when he entered his ‘dipping his fingers’ in everyone’s beer phase.

It was only when he spilled half his schooner down the front of himself did his mates decide it was probably time to go, but by then, Nick was not one to be reasoned with – quickly becoming a drunk, dribbly, stubborn man baby.

“Nick Uber’s here mate, time to go home.”

“Naurrghhh.”

“Nick.”

“I’ll walk…it’s fine.”

“Cunt you’re not walking home.”

“I’m fiiiine, I do it all the time”, he’d insisted, launching himself past the parked Uber, “I’m going to run home.”

“Alright Nedd Brockmann come on.”

“You’ve never exercised in your life, let’s not start now.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey