Mate Trying To Delve Into Deeply Personal Topics At Pub Gets Roasted With “Righto Prince Harry” — The Betoota Advocate

Mate Trying To Delve Into Deeply Personal Topics At Pub Gets Roasted With "Righto Prince Harry" — The Betoota Advocate

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The habit Australian males have of hiding their emotions and grievances behind a wall of stoicism has been greatly reinforced this week, after the media firestorm surrounding Prince Harry’s new autobiography ‘Spare’.

Once viewed as the most relatable British Royal, it seems Australia’s favourite stoner womaniser may have lost his edge – after penning 800 pages of deeply personal confessions and fairly unnecessary gripes with the charmed life he has been provided by the very generous citizens of the Commonwealth.

Aside from all the stuff we want to read, like how lovely his mother was, and how the Queen would drink too much, we also get to learn about how he likes to put face cream on his doodle when he gets cold.

It’s also kind of weird that his not-small military body count in Afghanistan is given less air time than his love of horses.

The general consensus around the world seems to be, that while this book is slightly juicy and arguably even worth reading, it’s also very unusual and probably not worth writing. Especially given the fact that anyone whose interested can go and watch the endless interviews and Netflix specials that Harry and his wife have so generously gifted us.

However, while the book might not be remembered with the same historical importance as the Malcolm X autobiography, or even Scar Tissue – it has definitely made ripples around the world. Especially amongst Australian men who are now even more careful to not ‘pull a Harry’ and overshare.

Sitting at The Lord Betoota Royal Commercial Hotel today, local payroll software expert, Dev (32) has been roasted for trying to bring the ongoing personal anguish he still experiences in relation to a horrific football injury in high school.

“Yeah man, I’ve only just stopped seeing the sharp white bone from that tib-fib compound fracture in my dreams” he tells his mates.

“I guess it’s really kind of dictated how my life has unfolded. You know, [the injury] obviously had a lot to what field I ended up working in. Like I couldn’t do an apprenticeship back then”

“And it’s played a big role in my dating. I always try to avoid getting hur-“

It’s at this point that his mates have had enough with what they believe to be pointless and unhelpful revelations.

“Righto Prince Harry” says his best mate of 20 years, Rambo, to a roaring chorus of laughter from the boys.

“Give it a rest”

“We get it. Your mums hot and your dads ugly”

Author: Stephen Bailey