CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After what looked like the start of a new winning dynasty in game I, the Queensland Maroons were cut back down to size last night in a humiliating 44-12 loss to the Blues in Perth.
The first half of the match appeared to be neck-and-neck, before Queensland conceded six tries after half time.
While the media begins their merry assault on the underdogs from up North, and Billy Slater’s coaching career remains in a limbo, the Maroons camp have today pointed to some very simple explanations as to what the fuck happened last night.
While QLD captain Daly Cherry-Evans appeared impressively measured in his post-match press conference last night, today’s official statement from the Queensland Rugby League is notably less gracious in defeat.
“We can’t be doing Origin matches in Perth” read an official press release from the QRL today.
“What a ridiculous idea”
“Playing a match on a cricket oval, in front of a bunch of FIFO miners from New South Wales”
It is unknown who which official Queensland Rugby League executive is responsible for today’s media release, but both the players and coaching staff have backed the sentiments.
“The whole thing was a mess, really” the press conference continued.
“The boys were all out of wack. Jet lagged to fuck and dehydrated. Perth, we’re glad you had some fun and got to watch some real football for once. But this won’t be happening again”
“Also, the ref’s eyes were painted on. That Kaufusi call was fucked. Extreme bias against the humble Queenslanders, as usual”
“Anyway, who’s to say this wasn’t all part of Billy’s plan. Let the mind games begin”
“We’ll see you in game three.”
“FOR ANY FURTHER ENQUIRIES PLEASE CONTACT FATTY VAUTIN VIA HIS NEW TIKTOK ACCOUNT”