ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Some bloke who lives in his electric blue shitbox down at the Lake Betoota boat ramp says it’s a refreshing change to have politicians that don’t outright lie to you.
A year ago, Doug Morgan was living in a shitbox flat in Lake Betoota but during the pandemic, remote-working yopro yuppie cunts and their grey-haired cunt parents from the French Quarter and other cosmopolitan enclaves around the country started to move in which forced the marginally employed like Doug to go and get fucked.
He told The Advocate that he found comfort in Treasurer Jim Chalmers saying things are going to get worse before they get better.
“Usually they say everything will be OK and all your dreams will come true if you just keep voting for them,” he said.
“But with this mob, you’ve got Jim Chalmers looking down the camera saying we’re in for some shit and some of you will do your arse big time,”
“I think that’s nice. But to tell you the truth, I don’t think my dreams will come true no matter who I vote for.”
When asked what his dream was, Doug laughed and looked away.
“So there used to be this local takeaway shop where you could get a feed of chips and a bit of old fish for $5. The bloke who owned it was good to the community like he’d just give you some chips if you’d put your wage through the pokies and the kids were screaming. Anyway, this cunt landlord had put the rent up so he shut up shop. Now there’s this cafe there selling some milk-adjacent coffee for $5. You’d have to be on six figures to eat there. You can get breakfast there for $20. It’s outrageous,”
“And you should see the people there. Dressed in there Patacuntia clothes. Those fancy German thongs. Yeah well, my dream,”
“My dream is to drive my car into that cafe at full speed. Because fuck them and fuck their AirBnB cunt lifestyle. Where am I supposed to go and live? Cooladdi? Boulia? Eromanga? I don’t know no cunt in those towns but that’s all I can afford,”
“Anyway, thanks for not putting your capital city shitebag piss in my pocket, Jim.”
More to come.