EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
As she tries on some of the clothes she’s received with her latest ASOS haul, local woman Dimity Bishop  is appalled to discover that yet again, half of them don’t fit.
Somehow, they’re either too big or too small, despite them all being the same fucking size.
You would think that Dimity would have learnt her lesson, seeing as this was the third time in two months that she’d been blighted by online shopping, but the convenience of simply clicking a button far outweighed the palaver of going down to the shops, and god forbid, actually having to try on clothes.
Unfortunately this sheer laziness also means that Dimity can’t be fucked sending clothes back when they don’t fit, as that means having to trapise down to the post office during work hours which is arguably a lot more inconvenient than simply doing her clothes shopping on the weekend.
Now, Dimity finds her entire bottom drawer filled to the brim with discarded clothes of varying quality (she did go through a Shein phase before seeing Tik Tok about fast fashion), that continues to grow in mass the longer she continues to refuse that online shopping just doesn’t work for her frame.
It’s understood that Dimity later placed all the clothes in a plastic bag in a random bout of frustration but that the bag will likely sit in the corner of her room indefinitely.
More to come.