Local Woman Farewells Parents Going On Cruise Like They’re Going Off To War — The Betoota Advocate

Local Woman Farewells Parents Going On Cruise Like They're Going Off To War — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

With the rising popularity of death ships sailing the seven seas, chock full of spicy cough and gastro, a local woman said she wasn’t sure she’d see her parents again after farewelling them off on a cruise this afternoon.

Speaking to The Advocate from the bohemian beach city of Adelaide, Toiréasa Donoghue said she’s only heard bad things about cruises these days which is something that’s certainly got her on edge.

“I don’t know if it’ll be the spicy cough that gets them,” she said.

“Or some dreadful other disease they get on cruise ships like gastroenteritis or diphtheria. I’m just worried, you know. You keep reading all those news articles about these grey-haired pirates setting sail and then getting sick with the spicy cough. My folks aren’t young anymore, it’s not something to take lightly at that age,”

“I tried to tell them they didn’t have to go, that they could do something safer like the Indian Pacific or something but my Da, he loves to gamble and my Ma, she likes to drink so they like going on the cruise ships. They’re essentially just floating RSL clubs these days except rather than needing closed shoes and a collared shirt to get in, it seems you need to have bloody covid as a prerequisite,”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine but that doesn’t stop me from worrying.”

Ms Donoghue’s parents are travelling with Prolapsed Starfish Cruises, which attracted controversy in 2011 for allegedly being named after what can happen to your lower intestinal tract if you have really bad gastro.

When asked by The Advocate how the cruise is going, a spokesperson from Prolapsed Starfish said Ms Donoghue’s parents are currently sleeping off their first night on board.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey