LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Proving that not all animal lovers are good people, a local psycho went into town to show off their two identical dogs.
Wanting some canine company, hobbyist potter Angie Dolt (56) opted to ignore the whole rescue greyhound thing all of her neighbours got involved with by adopting an identical pair of whippets.
Dolt did however continue the tradition of speeding up gentrification by giving her dogs Japanese names which is why she debuted Akira and Miso to the public during her morning coffee run.
However, Dolt’s bespoke coffee cup was not the topic of conversation that day as her barista, acquaintances and everyone else could not seem to get past the fact she had purchased two of the same dog for some reason.
Some witnesses report that they assumed they were just seeing double, because what kind of person buys the same dog twice unless they are trying to distract from some serious character flaws.
“There’s just something so Disney villain about it,” stated barista Tamika Ranger.
“I should have realised she was a psycho when a long black with an extra shot became her regular order.”
Although there is nothing technically wrong with owning two of the same dog, the towns folk and writers at The Advocate are still yet to decipher what horrible secrets Dolt is hiding and if she knows anything about the electorate’s 14 cold cases.
“They have different personalities though,” who could have paid less for two different personalities and two different looking dogs.
“You don’t actually get any discount for buying two, they make you pay more actually because they’ll be keeping each other company.”