Local Girl’s Excuses For Regularly Blowing Disposable Income Getting Increasingly More Nihilistic — The Betoota Advocate

Local Girl’s Excuses For Regularly Blowing Disposable Income Getting Increasingly More Nihilistic — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

As she brushes her fingers against the fur trim of a Penny Lane style coat, local woman Sharee Phillips braces herself for the price.

Fuck, $320. A bit steep, especially seeing as she just dropped $120 on some corduroy flares BUT in her defence, she had been eyeing them off for two weeks and it was a $30 price drop, so technically she was saving money. And yeah, she did also buy a $70 house plant two days too and she really didn’t need to get another one seeing as she already has several in her room but it really was quite nice. 

Also, plants have numerous mental health benefits right? So she’s just doing it to ward off the seasonal depression. It’s an investment.

Stilllll, 300 bucks is 30% of her weekly paycheck and there are cheaper, albeit, not as nice coats available. She also quite likes how it makes her feel like a cool 70s rock chick who gets all the backstage passes because she shags the drummer.

Hmmm.

“Well”, Sharee muses, trying on the coat again as she imagines pairing it with some cool lennon style sunnies, “what the fuck else am I going to spend my money on?”

“What’s the point of savings, really? Can’t buy a house and even if I could, I don’t really see the point of buying one. I mean, the concept of owning a home seems nice but why do humans need to own anything? So I can paint the walls when I want to? I guess to pass it onto kids and make their lives easier, but I don’t plan on having any. Who would it go to when I die? My nephew? He’s a cunt.”

“Cost of living is fucked, can’t be assed traveling at the moment.”

“I get paid again next week so I’m hardly going to be destitute.”

“Fuck it, fuck everything, nothing matters, I consist of atoms. I am nothing but a speck of dust in the universe.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey