Local Girl Vindicated As Mutual Friend That Always Gave Her Hmmm Vibes Proves To Be A Cunt — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

As what might possibly be the most self satisfied smile she’s ever made, local woman Olivia Lennox is practically humming with the vindication.

She was right. Rob is a cunt with a capital C.

You see, when Olivia had first heard about the bloke, she’d been inundated with stories of how wonderful and funny and endlessly witty he was, not to mention how nice he was. Which, they’d all pointed, was such a surprise because he was such a looker (and though being handsome doesn’t give a free pass to being an asshole, it’s understood that pretty privilege allows you to get away with worse behaviour and that if someone gets what they want without so much as a single speed bump, that can encourage entitled behaviour).

As a hot blooded woman, Olivia had been quite looking forward to meeting the Australian equivalent of Chris Evans. But unfortunately after just five minutes of speaking to the guy, Olivia had felt something a little bit…off. Which she made the mistake of raising to a mate who was just as enamoured as everyone else.

“I don’t know about him, he seems a bit condescending I think?” admitted Olivia, “I’m getting a bad vibe.’

Immediately branded as cynical and a hater of handsome men, Olivia had made a promise to herself that it might be best to bite her tongue, and wondered if there was a subconscious reason she’d been repelled by the Adonis standing before her.

Jealousy? Insecurity? Deep seated abandonment issues?

Who knows.

However, it’s alleged that Olivia’s initial character assessment was finally vindicated six months later, when she received a call from the girl she’d initially confided in – and boy, was it juicy.

“Omg you won’t believe what happened to Jess!”

“What?” She’d asked, as it could genuinely be anything.

“You know how she was seeing Rob for a while?”

“Apparently he rooted Lisa and then just straight ghosted Jess when she messaged him about it.”

“She’s devastated.”

Nodding with sympathy, Olivia has to fight every atom in her body to stop herself from screaming “I FUCKING TOLD YOU.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey