EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Staring at herself in the salon mirror as she wonders if she’s always been this ugly, Louisa Flynn  finds her reverie briefly interrupted as the hairdresser asks her to clarify how much she wants chopped off.
“Below the shoulders thanks”, says Louisa, using her hands to indicate just how much she wants lobbed off, “I’d still like to be able to put it up.”
One inch below the shoulders.
Just above her boobs.
A simple, straight forward cut. No layers, no fucking around, just a quick slice.
Wow okay, the hairdresser has just taken a huge chunk off.
That’s fine, maybe it looks shorter because it’s wet?
Wait no, that’s the opposite.
Watching with mild horror, Louisa finds herself suddenly transported into the 2001 cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek, as a very depressed Lord Farquaad stares back at her.
Well shit, that’s going to take at least three months until it even looks remotely acceptable.
She’s going to cry.
“How’s that?” asks the hairdresser, running her fingers through roughly four inches of hair.
“Yes, perfect thanks”, says Louisa, blinking back tears.
“Looks so much healthier.”
More to come.