Local Cafe Applauds As Brief Glare From Bullmastiff Shuts Up Yappy Pomeranian — The Betoota Advocate

Local Cafe Applauds As Brief Glare From Bullmastiff Shuts Up Yappy Pomeranian — The Betoota Advocate


Patrons of a French Quarter cafe are praising the work of an English Bullmastiff this morning, after it managed to restore law and order to the animal kingdom.

The Advocate understands at approximately 8:42am, tables were packed at Shiba Inu, a Japanese-French inspired brunch destination, renowned for it’s yuzu breakfast cheesecakes.

Filled with many of Betoota’s graphic design inclined early risers, it’s understood patrons were busy appreciating a slow blissful morning, as they began to curate their shopping list to take the the nearby Betoota farmers market.

However, thanks to the arrival of a rather yappy orange tissue box with legs, patrons were appalled to have their breakfast ruined as a yelping Pomeranian, aptly named “Tiffany”, settled into an outside table.

Squeaking its head off with the irritating yelps, it’s believed patrons were forced to grind their teeth as the Pomeranian’s owner took a seat outside the cafe and proceeded to treat patrons to the obnoxious sounds of a public Facetime call.

Taking matters into its own paws and cementing itself as the one true king of the hounds, it’s understood an English Bullmastiff by the name of “Morley” decided to strike the yappy Pomeranian off its pedestal, with one fierce glare.

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to tear through you like a lamb shank,” the Mastiff said telepathically with one stern look.

“Let myself and these quiet people enjoy our breakfast in peace or I’ll cough you up like a hairball.”

Stunned by the ferocious threats, it’s believed “Little Tiff” the Pomeranian decided to stand down and cower behind the legs of her daftly stupid owner.

Overjoyed to have the peaceful sounds of local birds take over the morning’s ambient soundtrack, cafe patrons were reportedly thankful for the hound’s bullish brand of discipline.

Leaning over to offer a gift of appreciation, one patron was even witnessed handing over a long streaky web of hickory smoked bacon.

“Who’s a good boy?” the cafe patron offered.

“I am…” nodded the Mastiff with approval.

Author: Stephen Bailey