Local Bushie Admits He Prefers Hard Gritty Slush Puppy Over Soft, Fluffy 7/11 Slurpee — The Betoota Advocate

Local Bushie Admits He Prefers Hard Gritty Slush Puppy Over Soft, Fluffy 7/11 Slurpee — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A service station connoisseur has spoken to The Advocate today, campaigning for the revival of the humble Slush Puppy.

Standing outside the Speedway service station on Langer Rd on the outskirts of West Betoota, local Bedourie grazier Wayne White told our reporter that he’d love to see more Slush Puppy machines, instead of the fancy Slurpee contraptions he sees at the classy servos in town.

“You can’t beat it, you can really taste the ice!” crooned Wayne, as he took a thick sip of a Lime Slush Puppy he’d just bought inside.

“Every time you have one it’s like brushing your teeth with a commercial pressure washer, it’s the good stuff!”

A man who likes his Rum in a can and his toast burnt to buggery, Wayne told our reporter that he was now willing to cross town to fill up his trusty Landcruiser at the Speedway servo, just so he could enjoy a proper icy refreshment.

“I used to stop at the 7/11 on the main drag there, but their Slurpees taste like unicorn fluff, they’re always flogging some Bubblegum, Coco-Melon or Fairy Floss bullshit, it’s just not the same.”

“They even had some no sugar, sour apple flavour the other day, what’s the point, that can’t be good for you!”

Asked if there were other indulgences that tempted him to stop by the homebred petrol station, Wayne admitted to The Advocate that Speedway Roadhouse was a great place to pick up an early dinner.

“Those 7/11 setups in town sell salads in the box, whereas this place does all the things you want from a proper road house, they’ve got Chiko rolls and dim sims in the bain-marie, heaps of sunglasses and they even have a few nudie mags…”

“In fact that Slush Puppy was so good and I’ve got a far drive back home, I might nip in and get a seafood stick, you want anything?”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey