Local Bloke’s Massage Ruined After Pan-Flute Cover Of Adele Reminds Him Of High School Breakup — The Betoota Advocate

Local Bloke’s Massage Ruined After Pan-Flute Cover Of Adele Reminds Him Of High School Breakup — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A local Bloke’s attempt at self-care has been ruined this week, thanks to a playlist that reminded him of his toughest heartbreak.

After several weeks of back spasms, The Advocate understands local fitter and turner Brian Beaurepaire visited Royal Orchid Remedial Massage in downtown Betoota to relieve his soaring spinal pain.

A massage establishment famed for its hot stone treatments, it’s understood the local mechanic made the visit upon a recommendation from a GP who advised him it would be good for both his circulation and stress relief.

After nervously entering the facility and entering a candle lit room filled with the warming scents of lemongrass and coconut oil, Brian stripped off and began to lay face down on the leathery massage table.

His first time experiencing the type of massage that can be claimed on his health cover, Brian was politely surprised that the firm hands of the masseuse was capable of kneading out muscular knots still present from the last time he played footy back in 2013.

Lulling himself into a state of blissful relaxation, his stress free experience was soon disrupted, after recognising the melody to one of his most favourite, and traumatising songs.

As a pan flute rendition of ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele began playing across the speaker system, Brian’s calming evening was ruined, after revisiting flashbacks of his first high school heartbreak to the school sports captain, Sarah Richardson, in Year 9.

Clenching his teeth as the masseuse began driving thumbs deep into his back, Brian told The Advocate the return of the hit classic song from Adele was almost enough to bring him to tears.

“I’m just trying to switch off and take care of my body mate, and now I’m laying here copping elbows and knees to my joints like a UFC fight, and hearing this tear jerker on the stereo.”

“It just reminds me of the time Sarah broke up with me outside school and I had to walk home in the rain alone, and it still hurts god dammit!”.

Author: Stephen Bailey