Local Bloke Agrees To Take Part In Nightclub Brawl After Spotting Hectic Older Cousin Up The Back — The Betoota Advocate

Local Bloke Agrees To Take Part In Nightclub Brawl After Spotting Hectic Older Cousin Up The Back — The Betoota Advocate


Patrons were treated to some old fashioned windmilling on the dance floor of one of Betoota’s premiere nightlife venues in the early hours of Sunday morning, it has been confirmed.

In the heart of the Old City District, ‘Luhrmann’s Lounge’ has been the go-to spot for late night revellers for over 30 years, and judging by the weekend’s brouhaha – the club retains their crown as the number 1 purveyor of Long Island ice teas and explosive violence.

Management of the iconic venue have written off the drama as ‘a textbook melee’ – However, witnesses can confirmed that close to 50 drinks were spilled and at least two chairs were thrown.

One man at the centre of this dust-up was local website designer, Kip Marshall (24) who isn’t actually that well known for bringing back the biff.

“I didn’t want it” said Kip.

“Old mate did, but I didn’t”

It is believed that what started as an accidental shoulder into the shoulder blades fringe NRL player, quickly turned into a lot of jersey punching, with the option of taking it a lot further.

Kip goes on to explain that after being made multiple offers to take part in a full blown nightclub brawl, and had initially made an extra effort to avoid the scrap.

As someone who retains an unusually high level of emotional intelligence for an early-twenties bush kid full of rum, Kip is believed to have made several sincere apologies, before offering to shout the other bloke a shot of fireball.

Unfortunately, his de-escalation tactics were to no avail, as it became clear that the bloke that was offering him out had a few girls there he was trying to impress with unbridled physical barbarity.

Looking around the club, Kip realised he was not only outsized, but also noticeably outmanned – this ruled out the possibility of a leg kick into goose step out the exit.

Now at panic stations, Kip began to brace himself for the humiliation of being towelled up in a fight he wanted no part in.

That was when he spotted his bad ass older cousin Brodie (33, jeweller, Betoota Ponds) up the back behind the DJ.

Brodie has spotted Kip too. He’s got his boys with him. He gives Kip the nod.

Kip now feels comfortable in accepting the offer being put forward by the heavily tattooed stranger, and begins swinging like fuck.

Author: Stephen Bailey