Liberal Party Hires Self-Help Guru Who Specialises In Fixing Spectacularly Useless Men — The Betoota Advocate

Liberal Party Hires Self-Help Guru Who Specialises In Fixing Spectacularly Useless Men — The Betoota Advocate

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The Federal Opposition have this week raised eyebrows after revealing a new ploy to turn their party around.

While Anthony Albanese and Peter Dutton attended a barbecue to raise awareness for prostate cancer yesterday, the rest of the Liberal Party brains trust enjoyed a special lecture from one of their idols – Jordan Peterson.

Travelling to Australia to lecture our politicians about the threats to masculinity, the self-help lecture from the Canadian Psychologist caused a bit of a stir on the internet.

Famous for refusing to use gender pronouns, Peterson has made a name for himself as a right wing hot-take merchant – with his commitment to virality resulting in everyone in the media ignoring some of his ideas about the working class, science, and education – and simply labelling him and alt-right transphobe.

That publicised much publicised ‘anti-PC agenda’ makes him a darling for people like Scott Morrison and Andrew Hastie.

While that stuff is always of interest to centre-right career politicians looking to avoid doing work by re-hashing culture war issues – it’s believed the Liberals were more keen on Peterson’s self-help style motivational videos and books.

“Obviously him telling us to make our beds isn’t really what we are after,” explained one Liberal politician who spoke to The Advocate under the condition of anonymity.

“Because that’s what our wives, or hotel staff do,” he laughed.

“But they other stuff about not giving a fuck about what people think and refusing to adhere to societal norms because we are told to, is something we can get on board with.”

“If anyone can fix this party, it’s Peterson,” said the notable useless man in need of another man to tell him to just look out for himself and not give a fuck about what anyone on the ‘woke left’ thinks.

While it’s unknown if Peterson will be given a full-time role with the party, a possible candidacy in the seat of Warringah at the next election is reportedly has also been floated.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey