Landlord Unsure About Renewing Your Lease… Unless You Wanna Offer To Pay More Haha? Up To You — The Betoota Advocate

Landlord Unsure About Renewing Your Lease... Unless You Wanna Offer To Pay More Haha? Up To You — The Betoota Advocate


As was 100% expected, the genius investors that make up Australia’s post-war landlord caste have this week begun making immediate steps to pass on the RBA’s interest rate hike to their tenants.

This has resulted in a sudden wave of movement within the rental market, as baby boomer property investors around the country refuse to take even the slightest hit in this changing economy – which they also refuse to acknowledge is only limping because the entire nation had to stay indoors for two years to protect them from a nasty cough.

Right around the country, millions of renters have been this week issued an ultimatum – either offer to pay more rent, or you know, you can start packing haha.

Local semi-retired white goods retailer Pete Brogden (67) epitomises this particular class of average Australians who have managed to make millions of dollars by gaming a manipulated housing market that the Federal and State governments have actively protected from any risks for over 30 years.

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, John says he gave the marching orders to the tenants in all three of his investment properties earlier this morning.

“It’s actually not as easy as you’d think” says John, who bought three terrace houses in the Flight Path District for 30k a pop at the height of the mid-90s heroin boom, and has not given either a lick of paint since.

“I just said, ya know, this place is work X a week and you’ve been paying less than that. Like I can’t legally keep asking to raise the rent again…”

“but I can let them know that I am unsure about renewing the lease haha”

John says the working families and young people that rely on his clever risk-free investments usually don’t want the hassle of hiring a truck and looking for new primary schools in cheaper suburbs…

“So they usually show a bit initiative and offer to pay more than I can legally ask for haha. 3% is a good start, but a 10% increase is real safe bet haha”

“The smart ones do that anyway. The other ones just get given 90 days to relocate their entire lives”

When asked if he thinks that his strategy of unregulated wealth-hoarding is slightly unethical, John begins to go on a rant about how young people, who are 40% less likely to ever own a home than his generation, expect to have everything handed to them.

“I never had it easy” says John, who managed to evade the Vietnam draft by 5 years and went to university for free.

“I am a caucasian post-war Australian. I have never made a compromise in my entire life and I’m not going to start now!”.

Author: Stephen Bailey