EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Though she’d always ‘joked’ about it, local woman Felice Hart  has always secretly envisioned herself as a cat lady.
This concept would have horrified her as a teenager, but as she’d ticked into her thirties, Felice had begun to think there were far worse fates than living in a peaceful quiet apartment, with little responsibility except looking after a very low maintenance pet – a thought process that may or may not have been supported after visiting her sister with three kids under the age of five on the weekend.
Yeah, fuck that.
Finding a bloke would be nice in theory, but Felice just can’t be fucked with the process anymore and has now officially left her lovelife in the hands of a ‘meet cute’ which she knows, deep down, mostly just happens in a movie.
But that’s okay, because now that she’s finally hit the sweet point with her salary, she can officially move out of a sharehouse and into her very own one bedder! And that means she now has the perfect foundation for her inevitable destiny, which is accidentally slipping into her shower and dying, no one finding her and her cat slowly devouring her until the neighbour complains of a smell.
And she’s okay with that. In fact, it’d be a pretty iconic way to go.
However, as a millennial, Felice has forgotten that she’s at the mercy of a landlord and in this rental market, they can pretty much put down any rules they want.
Which sadly means NO CATS for Felice.
Letting out a sigh, Felice instead spends some money on a vine plant for her bedside table, in the hopes that it might one day grow long enough to gently caress her cheek as she drifts off to sleep.
More to come.