Labor Not As Keen To Close Borders Over Virus That Only Affects Rural Australians — The Betoota Advocate

Labor Not As Keen To Close Borders Over Virus That Only Affects Rural Australians — The Betoota Advocate


The Australian Labor Party heavyweights have once again broken out the brand new moleskin trousers and sparkling akubra hats for a regional visit.

This comes after increasing pressure from the agricultural sector for our government to please take the imminent outbreak of Foot And Mouth disease seriously.

The devastating livestock virus threatens to annihilate Australia’s livestock industry, and has already been detected in goods coming into Australia from both Indonesia and China.

Both farmers and industry leaders are praying this virus doesn’t do to Australia what it did to the UK in 2007, when Great Britain’s farming and tourism sectors were immediately shut down upon outbreak, resulted in the death of more than 6.5 million livestock

However, when scaled to Australia’s agricultural sector: one positive case of foot and mouth detected on an Australian farm would shut the $27 billion livestock export trade down for months or even years – with an estimated the total cost of a major outbreak at $80 billion.

However, with a Federal Government that has decided to appoint the same man to both the role of Minister for Emergency and the Minister For Agriculture, it remains very uncertain that Labor have the capacity to act on this very urgent issue in the backdrop of floods and storms.

Although, this doesn’t mean they won’t be continuing their charade of pretending to care about rural Australia as much as their care about flight noise above the cafe belts of Sydney and Brisbane.

Speaking in a rural town hall earlier today, Prime Minister Albanese and his colleagues had a crack at communicating with these angry bushies, most of whom didn’t vote for them.

“Wait wait wait. Slow down” laughed Albanese.

“You bushies are classic. Speak clearly”

The irate rural Australians began yelling even louder, as the inner-city pollies turned up the condescending snark.

“Foodemouf?? What the hell is that??!” said a giggling Albanese.

“You need some food in your mouth?? Heyyy! You’re the farmers mate. Not me”

With the town hall meeting now at boiling point, agricultural scientists began waving reports at the PM. However, the Labor MPs refused to accept that it was there responsibility to make sure cows are social distancing”

“Honestly, what’s the problem now? Cows can have pandemics too? Jeez you guys need to stop watching Sky News and focus on the farming haha”

“You can’t complain about drought anymore either. You’d be pigs in shit with all this rain haha”

Author: Stephen Bailey