Home Birthed Kid To Attend Home School, Home University, Home Life — The Betoota Advocate

Home Birthed Kid To Attend Home School, Home University, Home Life — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

The first chapter in what will kind of be a lifetime started today as couple Lentil & Lettuce Jones welcomed their baby girl Panasea into the world.

Despite the fact that hospital’s exist and people still die in childbirth, the Jones’s decided that the walls ‘lil Panny should first look upon would be the ones in the home her parents built from scratch and a downloadable tiny house template.

With mum and bub both healthy, despite the mental implications of choosing to home birth, Panasea is getting a taste of the world around her, which she better bloody enjoy as this is where she will be spending most of it.

“How many kids can say they were born at their school?” asked Lentil Jones in what might be the strangest brag ever.

“We will be homeschooling of course, giving her the best chance to get into a good university which again, she will be attending at home.” 

Homeschooling is the practice of one or both parents educating their children at home, usually sticking to a government mandated curriculum but almost always doing whatever the fuck they want.

According to Lentil and Lettuce, homeschooling provides parents with an opportunity to raise their kids outside of the public school system and in the real world by only interacting with their parents, not learning how to speak to people their own age and never getting to join the PEN 15 club.

“If we wanted a little robot, yeah, we’d send our kids to public schools but we want to raise an individual which is why we will be monitoring her every step 100% of the time.”

“After home school and home university she is free to follow whichever ethical life path she likes, which may or may not involve working from home.”


Author: Stephen Bailey