LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A local man has turned into a local ninny earlier today, as groom-to-be Markus Bolt (32) drunkenly disgraced himself with a display of actual human emotion.
While on what is currently being described as a ‘bucks year’, Bolt found himself in a hot tub, naked but for a tutu, on three different types of pills, with derogatory henna tattoos all over his chest, back, and buttocks.
It was at this point that Bolt did something that would be considered truly disgraceful.
“Thanks for organising this guys, I fucken’ love you guys, you’re my best mates,” stated Bolt, completely ruining the aggressively masculine atmosphere his friends had worked so hard to cultivate.
“I seriously fucken’ love you all so much.”
“Let’s take a photo together!”
Having completely ruined the charm of being naked in tepid water with friends, Bolt’s buddies promised they would never bring up his indiscretion on the basis that it would be a ‘dog as’ thing to do.
Unfortunately for the bucks and their decades of emotional repression Bolt doubled down on his comments.
“I don’t care who knows! I fucken’ love you guys, I fucken’ love you! And I can’t wait for you guys to see me and Jess get married. I love her…I really really love her.”
Thankfully, Bolt’s mates were spared hearing more emotion after Macca took a shit in the hot tub which everyone found pretty funny.
“Anything to stop that,” stated Macca.