WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
There’s some exciting news for the people of Australia this morning.
The nation has arisen to the revelation that we will have a handful of nuclear powered submarines in the next few decades.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese made the groundbreaking announcement this morning Australian time, revealing that we’ll be dropping $368 billion dollars on some cool underwater sleep pods.
What’s even more exciting, is that some of the submarines we’ll be buying of the United States will be second hand Virginia class subs.
It’s believed the number of submarines (which will be able to be counted on your fingers) will significantly boost our chances of holding out against China for the first day of the invasion.
“This will see us hold firm against the superpower that is China for at-least 12-14 hours,” explained Prime Minister Albanese from the United States this morning.
Speaking to the media from San Diego, the PM who is starting to spend a significant amount of time overseas, made the exciting announcement alongside British PM Rishi Sunak and US President Joe Biden.
All leaders hailed the developments as groundbreaking progress, despite a growing number of their constituents struggling to put food on the table.
“This is the number one priority for our nation,” explained Albanese, the leader of a Labor government whose country is currently battling a cost of living crisis and rapidly increasing levels of poverty.
“On top of our Stage Three Tax Cuts that will cost $240 billion and only affect people earning more than $200,000 a year, the government is making sure than well over half a trillion dollars is going into the right hands.”
“This is what a Labor government stands for. Lining the pockets of huge arms companies and battlers on 200+ thousand a year.”
“For anyone out there who is eating dollar loaves of toast and 2 minute noodles for dinner, this is for you!”
More to come.