Goths Grieve Revlon Insolvency As They Look For New Ways To Dye Hair Black For $11.95 — The Betoota Advocate

Goths Grieve Revlon Insolvency As They Look For New Ways To Dye Hair Black For $11.95 — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The goths that sit on the steps out the front of the Betoota City Council Chambers are grieving the loss of Revlon this week after the multinational cosmetics giant filed for bankruptcy after decades of providing affordable hair dyes and other knick-knacks of that ilk to supermarket shoppers around the world.

With debts of over $A14 billion, the company has assured that their once-popular range will remain on shelves locally but for one of the council step sitters, they’ll believe it when they see it.

Rachael Woosner, of Betoota Heights, told this masthead today from the park opposite the council chambers that she’s now looking for a new way to keep her hair jet black for the cost of two yuppie coffees a fortnight.

The 25-year-old is a natural strawberry blonde but found solace, she says, in the goth subculture while studying North Germanic languages at the prestigious Bjelke School of Danish Studies at the South Betoota Polytechnic College.

The sudden loss Revlon, though the company says they’re not going anywhere, has left Ms Woosner looking for another option.

“Nobody does black hair dye like Revlon,” she said.

“I don’t know what they put in it, but as soon as my roots start appearing, I do another box of Revlon Midnight Ink and it’s right back to where I want it. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my hair starts falling out, there’s obviously something in it that others don’t have,”

“Like what my Dad said about DDT. He’s been a grazier for 50 years and he reckons nothing controlled fly strike in sheep and insects in grain like DDT. It was so good, they had to ban it. If they come out in a few years and said that this Revlon Midnight Ink had DDT in it, I’d believe it,”

“I’ve given brands like L’Oréal and Garnier a go but they’re just not the same. Plus, you’re paying closer to $20 for that and as a student studying something that isn’t really going to lead to any sort of career, I can’t afford that,”

“They say Revlon isn’t going anywhere in Australia but just look at Holden and GM. If you believe the word of a corporate organisation in Australia, you’re a fucking idiot.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey