Gossip-Heavy Rebel Girls Group Chat Suggests Hens Party Preparations Aren’t Going To Plan — The Betoota Advocate

Gossip-Heavy Rebel Girls Group Chat Suggests Hens Party Preparations Aren’t Going To Plan — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A long-awaited hens party is in crisis this evening, after preparations for the event have been stonewalled by a group of rebel anti-wine tour insurgents.

After two weeks of slow preparations and lofty plans being raised in a group chat of 15 individuals, The Advocate understands crisis talks have officially commenced after a suggestion was made by the Maid of honour to book a AirBnB and a vineyard tour in the Yarra Valley.

Uninspired by the cost of flights and accommodation to Victoria, senior bridesmaid Amy Wilkinson told her closest friends that she’s infuriated by the unfolding situation and is making plans to inspire a mutiny.

Kicking off a second group chat, it’s believed Amy has gone as far as putting forward the suggestion that the current leader of the hens organisation, Jess Keaty, is unfit for leadership. 

“It’s bullshit, Jess keeps steering us towards a wine tour in the Yarra, but we all know it’s because she’s just keen to swindle a trip to Melbourne and squeeze in a visit to her boyfriend.”

“Flights are costing a fortune, and it’s pretty obvious that Jess is all cashed up at the moment and is trying to price us out of this whole shindig, I’m not having it!”

Crafting up a mock itinerary with the help of her fellow rebels, The Advocate understands Amy is planning on causing a revolt by dropping in a detailed breakdown of an economically competitive hypothetical weekend in Betoota that includes CBD accommodation, a long lunch, a ceramics course and a hotel delivered chippendale stripper, all for the same cost as an AirBnB in the Yarra.

“See this is what we could do for the same price, and we don’t even have to leave town!” typed Amy.

Putting the finishing touches on the potential hens proposal, Amy told The Advocate she’d be taking her suggestion into the main group chat this Sunday.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey