“Glory To Ukraine” Mutters Local Big Unit As Boot Camp Instructor Finishes With 50 Russian Twists — The Betoota Advocate

"Glory To Ukraine" Mutters Local Big Unit As Boot Camp Instructor Finishes With 50 Russian Twists — The Betoota Advocate

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The War In Ukraine has escalated in the last 24 hours, after Polish officials confirmed that they believe a “Russian-made missile” fell on a village in the country’s east – killing two people.

While there is “no concrete evidence” on who had fired it, seven NATO allies have convened in an emergency meeting to discuss the strike while in Bali for the G20 Summitt.

The Polish foreign ministry said the weapon fell on Przewodow, about six kilometres from the border with Ukraine, with the country convening a meeting of its national security council.

US President Joe Biden has told Poland that Washington has an “ironclad commitment to NATO” and will support their investigation into the incident.

Meanwhile, 3500 kilometres south-east of the Indonesian island and 14,000 kilometres from ground zero in Poland – the hostilities towards Russia continue to grow.

Betoota-based Warehouse Coordinator, Xavier ‘Zavy’ Cronk (46), says he too is growing inpatient with the needless Russian aggression.

This comes as Zavy wraps up the 6th fitness boot camp class that his wife has managed to drag him to.

After a sweltering 45 minutes of burpees, lunges and star jumps – the husky father-of-three thought that he’d be finishing up this morning’s class with some light stretching.

He was so wrong.

Much like the last 6 months of European conflict, Zavy has found that the twists comes when you least expect them.

Today, at the 44 minute mark of his intensive functional fitness session, he was ordered to complete 50 of them.

“Oh what? Are you serious?!” asks Zavy, briefly forgetting the good money he and his wife were paying for this luxury.

“Deadly serious” says the instructor.

Zavy drops backwards to the ground in three seperate movements before beginning his final excercise of 50 Russian Twists.

“Fuck this” he whispers to his wife.

“Slava Ukraini”

“Glory to the heroes”

“Glory to Ukraine

Author: Stephen Bailey