“Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I’ll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I’ll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn’t The First Time I’ve Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who’s Selling Australia Down The River There’s A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I’m Done With Them.” — The Betoota Advocate

"Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I'll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I'll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn't The First Time I've Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who's Selling Australia Down The River There's A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I'm Done With Them." — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Member for Kennedy Bob Katter has unveiled his plan to make sure the gas shortage crisis is averted on the east coast, detailing a four-point strategy to make sure Australian families are put first before corporate profits.

Katter has called on the Federal Government to give him “ten good blokes” and a dozen L1A1 semi-automatic battle rifles in order to take back control of our gas reserves and divert supply back to the domestic market.

Speaking to the media today in Julia Creek, 650km west of Townsville, about the corporate types he plans to fight.

“Give me ten good blokes and a dozen SLRs and I’ll secure our gas reserves and make sure not even a Bic lighter of the stuff goes to China or some other bloody place while Australian families are shivering their way through the coldest winter in fifty years,” he said in one breath.

“We will take the fight to the gas exporters and this isn’t the first time I’ve had to put a hole round through the patella, which is Latin for kneecap, of some corporate johnny who’s selling Australia down the river there’s a million wild acres of country out past Julia Creek where these bastards can rot under a boree tree when I’m done with them.”

When asked to clarify the remarks about putting a dumbed-down 7.62mm round through a gas executive’s knee at point-blank range, Katter laughed and alluded to this Wednesday’s State of Origin clash.

“Let me just tell you this,” he said.

“A lot of foolish people come up to Western Queensland and think they can do what they want. A toad-looking man by the name of Angus Gould has brought his blue men up here many times and learned that the hard way,”

“All I’m trying to say is that Australia’s not for sale and if the government wants someone to put a stop to it, he knows where my office is.”

Mr Katter then indicated that he would not be taking any more questions.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey