Gay Mate Didn’t Need A Year Worth Of His Data Violated To Know He Needs To Give Dua Lipa A Rest — The Betoota Advocate

Gay Mate Didn't Need A Year Worth Of His Data Violated To Know He Needs To Give Dua Lipa A Rest — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Local man Ken Dollrig (28) has today spent 10 minutes analysing perhaps the most unnecessary Spotify Wrapped data of the entire year.

In fact, the only thing that he learnt this year was that there is a genre of music known as ‘adult standards’ – something that Ken is not known for having when it comes to dating – or musical taste.

As a gay millennial on the verge of Gen Z, it seems like the current crop of top-charted popular music is being curated for just Ken – this means his Spotify data looks like identical to the Grammy nominations.

Apparently he’s in the top 1% for Dua Lipa listeners, with the British pop star dominating his top 6 most played songs, followed not-closely by Taylor and the same 3 Amy Winehouse tracks he’s been playing every day for a decade.

“I just feel like this is exactly the same as last year” he says.

“Like, why did I even bother looking. Dua Lipa has released a few new songs, so the track titles change, but that’s about it”

“I’m not proud of myself. I’m not going to change, but I’m not proud of these numbers”

“I mean out of context, it could look like I was torturing terror suspects with a playlist that offers such a lack of variety”

As Ken points out, he probably didn’t need a major streaming platform to violate his private data and repackage it into 15 flashy social media frames for the world to know how basic he is.

“I’m just glad the TV streaming services don’t offer the same feature”

“I’d be in the top 1% for Euphoria and White Lotus as well”

Author: Stephen Bailey