‘Gamble Responsibly’ To Be Replaced By ‘Feed Your Fucking Kids’ Under New Regulations — The Betoota Advocate

'Gamble Responsibly' To Be Replaced By 'Feed Your Fucking Kids' Under New Regulations — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

The poorest rich people in Australia have bid farewell to skiing for another year as the Australian snow season officially wraps.

The gambling industry is dealing with a loss that doesn’t increase their profits this week, as the Albanese government puts forward the legislature to drop the ‘Gamble Responsibly’ disclaimer in favour of something stronger.

From March 2023, the famous ‘Gamble Responsibly’ tagline will be dropped from all gambling advertisements of which the average Aussie sports viewer sees more of each year than their nan.

Institutions like the TAB, Keno and designated gaming rooms have meant most Australians have contributed to the estimated $25 billion lost to gambling each year.

With these figures in mind, it makes sense that ‘Gamble Responsibly’ will be phased out for stronger taglines such as ‘Feed Your Fucking Kids’, ‘Are You Seriously Betting On The Titans You Dumb Fuck’ and ‘When You Need To Set A Bet Limit It’s Already Too Late Cunt’.

“The problem with ‘Gamble Responsibly’ is that you’re still telling people to gamble,” said social services minister Amanda Rishworth.

“Under our legislation, gambling companies would have to tell punters that they really have no chance of winning anything in the long run but the money that would have fed their kids might pay for the SportsBet CEO’s pool extension, if he goes for the modest option which we know he won’t.”

Part of the new laws would require gambling companies to change the cautionary messaging every 12 months so that punters do not become desensitised to it in the same way they no longer hear their children crying in hunger.

MORE TO COME.

Author: Stephen Bailey