EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A frustrated local woman has this week been forced to go full on pass ag mode on her landlord, typing out what must be the most formal letter she’s ever written.
Michelle Audrey  is said to have received an email from her landlord at exactly 10:26 this morning, which stated that her rent would be increased by 20% next month due to ‘inflation.’ This of course, has resulted in an incredibly overpriced studio apartment that shouldn’t be worth more than $350 a week – let alone the $510 she’d now be expected to pay.
Despite ignoring the multiple emails Michelle had sent about ongoing maintenance issues her landlord clearly was about to login to his email account to alert her about updated rent.
And truth be told, she’s quite fucking over it.
Busting out her best impression of Mr Collins’ angry letter to the Bennets, Michelle unleashes months of pent up frustration.
“Dear Mr. Stafford”
“It surprises me to hear from you, considering so many of my attempts to reach you have gone unanswered. In the event you have failed to find those emails, I would like to alert you to the multiple maintenance issues that have plagued this house. Not only has the poor weather caused black mould to encase my bedroom ceilings (which can cause a number of respiratory issues) but I have been unable to properly make my dinner due to a broken stove top.”
“I would also like to mention that I have undertaken some research of the current rental price of similar studios in this area, and do not think this apartment is worth the price you are requesting. I also do think it quite unfair that my rent be increased at such an exorbitant manner, which I must admit, feels as though I am being taken advantage of.”
“I am happy to pay $400 a week at most, as that appears to be the average amount of rent paid for studios of similar size and location (should the issues listed be fixed).
“However, I will unfortunately have to find a home elsewhere, should you choose to go ahead with your original figure.”