LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Sharnie Lavender (31) of Betoota’s French Quarter is a simple woman. She likes her coffee hot, her rosé cool, and her men emotionally unavailable.
According to mates of Lavender, she is back with her shitty ex for at least the fifth time since their original split three years ago.
“At least she has given up trying to justify it,” stated one friend.
“She told me she’s not worried about getting hurt again because at least then she would feel something.”
“Starting to think she might not be alright.”
With her years of repeating the same mistakes under the delusion things would be different this time, it is no surprise that Lavendar is tuning in to the new Game of Thrones show, even after the last one hurt her so.
House of the Dragon, or Hot D, is a prequel to Game of Thrones, a show that emotionally broke Lavender and thousands more by having an ending that was about as satisfying as erectile dysfunction.
Despite Game of Thrones throwing in a hilarious twist of fate for anyone who named their daughter Daenerys, Lavender was as let down by the ending as she was by her piece of shit ex who once left her waiting at the airport for four hours while he got a politically incorrect massage with a happy ending using the last of her savings account.
However, Lavender has proven herself to be a glutton for punishment once again as she plans to chill out this next Monday with her shitty ex and House of the Dragon.
“It will be different this time,” stated Lavender, possibly talking about an epic fantasy series or the human void where a decent partner should be.
MORE TO COME.