Friend Barely Capable Of Keeping Her Phone Connected Somehow Overseas Again — The Betoota Advocate

Friend Barely Capable Of Keeping Her Phone Connected Somehow Overseas Again — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Does God have a plan for me?” she asked.

“Why does he let me suffer? Why is Janine fucking Willmott overseas again? Like half of her Facebook statuses are about her running, street-to-street battles with VodaCuck. I don’t get it.”

Speaking candidly to The Advocate this morning on the D45 bus into the French Quarter from Betoota Heights this morning, Sam Calder explained that despite her best efforts to keep her head above water – she sometimes finds life to be a bit too hard.

Especially, she says, when scrolling through Instagram late at night when sleep feels impossible.

“I don’t know, maybe her family has money?” she asked our reporter.

Our reporter shrugged, unsure of what to do or say to that rhetorical question.

“It’s just not fair. I want to go on a holiday but guess what? I can’t because I’ve got no job security and no money. Should I just get a credit card? God, I’m sorry for asking so many questions. You barely even know me,”

“I’m just tired. I’m completely fucked. I just want this year to end.”

Our reporter nodded.

The Advocate has reached out to Janine fucking Willmott for comment but has yet to receive a reply – due to the time difference between Betoota and Antigua.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey