KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
After 22 years of practising the art of ‘Nuat phaen boran’, local Thai Massage Master Anong Saetang (45) thought she knew every move in the book.
That was until this week, when the local masseuse tuned into the first half of the Melbourne Storm game, and was surprised to learn some exciting new, ligament tearing moves.
The proud business owner of Shining Lotus, an establishment that has been ironing out the kinks in the spines of Betoota residents for the past two decades, Anong was inspired by the incredible display of arm bending and ankle grappling, used by the Melbourne Storm on their NRL opponents.
“Oh wow, I’ve never seen an elbow crank done like that before,” cried Anong, as a Storm forward proceed to almost break the arm off his opposite number.
“Jesus, I thought my knee manipulations were tough, but it’s nothing compared to what this purple team is doing tonight!”
Long regarded as the innovative club which brought exciting WWE-inspired moves to the NRL competition, including the hip-drop, the grapple, the chicken wing, and the crusher, it’s widely understood Melbourne continues to be the second most hated team in the game, after Manly, due to their penchant for Brazilian jiu-jitsu style tackling.
Speaking to one local Storm fan who resides in Betoota, Cooper Grant (35), it’s believed Melbourne fans argue that the fierce direction of hatred is often quite misguided.
“Everyone is always saying we’re cheaters or we’re grubby, but we’re just evolving the game and combining it with other growing sports, like cage fighting!”
“We’re certainly not cheats, except for the 2007 and 2009 Premierships, and in fact some would say us bringing Wrestlemania into the game is just our club getting the NRL back for punishing us!”
“And all this limb breaking is kind of entertaining, we might even see some players bring out the Walls of Jericho in the finals!”
More to come.