CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent report by anyone who has walked into a medium-sized shopping centre has found that EB Games must be having a sale or something.
It is not certain what items are on special, or for how long for, but one thing that is certain is… Something is for fucking sale.
These findings were deduced from the highly emotive red flags and stickers that are scientifically designed and placed to cause chemicals to swirl around the brains of passing customers, in turn distracting them from whatever they thought was on their minds, and making them think about video games.
Cadet reporters from The Betoota Advocate were later able to confirm that the EB Games in the Flight Path District Chase Arcade was running something like 148 individual SALE signs.
However, that does not include the red furniture and shelving that is also plastered with the word SALE – which would likely bring the number up to about to the mid-200s.
When asked what was for sale, the extremely stoned 27-year-old rednut behind the counter appeared confused, and told our reporters that everything is for sale, because it’s a shop bro.
When asked how long these items would be on sale for, he told us ‘until they sell’ before making the following comment, which may have actually been a question: ‘fuck you think’.
Jenny from the Betoota Advocate’s front desk, who has teenage sons, has since confirmed that these stores are always draped in this much promotional material.