Doctors Unable To Revive Cold Chips — The Betoota Advocate

Doctors Unable To Revive Cold Chips — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A Betoota family is dealing with the rarest of losses today as they had to say goodbye to something known as ‘a handful of hot chips that didn’t get eaten.’

After over-ordering on the fish and chips, the Edwards from Betoota Heights ended up with some hot chips that everyone was too full to finish, an event so rare there is not even a name for it. 

Initially, mother Melody Edwards made to throw the cold leftover chips in the bin but was met with protest from husband Mark (believed to have asked Melody ‘if she was kidding’) and youngest daughter Laura (5) who wanted to save the chips for tomorrow.

But just like mother Melody had predicted, the following day there was no way to revive the cold chips, even when doctors were called to the scene.

“Microwaving them just made them all soggy,” stated young Laura through her naive tears.

“And I don’t want them cold because they are all wrinkly.”

The first responders tried a few other methods to revitalise the chips, including putting them in the oven again, an attempt that was thwarted when Melody stated she would not have the oven turned on to reheat 12 chips.

“And was that container yourself, I will not be the one who had to clean the Tupperware that held a pissy amount of chips I just wanted to throw away.”

It was at this point the doctors declared the time of death for the chips and provided the Edwards with the health advice that next time they should just eat all the chips, regardless of how full they already feel.

Author: Stephen Bailey