EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
As the freezing weather continues, the nation’s dads are at that point of the year where they will do anything except put the bloody heater on, which for the first time in years makes perfect sense, seeing as gas prices are through the roof.
This includes urging everyone in the household to ‘just rug up’ and busting out their favourite pair of slippers, which have more accumulated muck than the family tub of vaseline every one knows is not to be used for lips.
One such example, Steve Braithe  is said to have owned his favourite pair of Big W slippers for four years now, which look as though they’ve never seen the inside of a washing machine – and that’s because they haven’t.
Offering anyone a go at his petri dish of skin cells should they ever complain about their feet being cold, Steve is weirdly always gobsmacked that no one wants to share in the incredible warmth of a slipper that’s entire insides have worn down so far, there’s roughly a 0.01 millimetre between a person’s feet and the cold hardwood floor – not to mention the giant fucking hole in the big toe area that provides a smooth passage for the winters air.
“Alright get stuffed then”, he says, taking offence to it for some reason, “be cold then.”
More to come.