Company Posts Record Profits While CEO Tells Workers ‘Slow Economy’ Is Holding Wage Growth Back — The Betoota Advocate

Company Posts Record Profits While CEO Tells Workers ‘Slow Economy’ Is Holding Wage Growth Back — The Betoota Advocate


A box company’s entire factory workforce has considered mutiny today after CEO Glen Jenson explained the ‘slow economy’ was keeping their wages down.

However, the CEO said this right after bragging about the company’s record profits.

The Advocate visited the box factory to unpack this strange situation.

“If there’s record profits then our wages should be higher,” said one frustrated box technician to our reporter from behind a pile of boxes.

As our reporter did not know the worker by name nor how the economy functions, they chose not to respond and slowly walked away. 

The walk took our reporter past a long and winding conveyor belt that appeared to be moving boxes from one end of the factory to the other. 

At the far end, there stood the biggest box our reporter had ever seen. It was into this massive box the conveyor belt led, and smaller boxes in their thousands continuously fell into.

While contemplating where the boxes went to from here, our reporter overheard worker conversations that claimed their CEO received a record bonus payment as reward for leading the company to record profits.

The unfairness of this made the workers mad, and led one particularly irate worker to smash his fist through the bottom side of a box he had just finished assembling.

Suspended from vertical steel ropes high above the factory floor was the CEO’s office cube, made entirely from glass. From within, Jenson gazed down at the workers and watched. 

On the factory floor, one disgruntled worker said, “If they’re makin’ record profits, we should be seein’ record wages.” 

“Shut up or they’ll fire ya!” a terrified worker replied. “How ya gonna feed ya family, then?”

This was a good point to make. The Advocate can confirm that successive neoliberal governments have diligently worked towards suppressing wages, while at the same time vilifying and restricting unions. This has left workers with little bargaining power to win higher wages while making it easier for companies to let them go. 

Defeated, the box worker returned to boxing boxes and sighed, “The boxes won’t box themselves, lads,” before nodding at our reporter who, much like the box workers, has not received a pay rise in many moons.

Author: Stephen Bailey