Clinically Frugal Mate Turns Up for 18-Holes of Golf with 4 Iron, Putter and “Can I Borrow Your Driver?” — The Betoota Advocate

Clinically Frugal Mate Turns Up for 18-Holes of Golf with 4 Iron, Putter and “Can I Borrow Your Driver?” — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A local penny pincher appears to be having a laugh this morning, turning up for 18-holes of golf with only two clubs and a request to borrow the rest.

Despite sitting on a healthy $110,000 a year pay packet thanks to his job in the finance sector, The Advocate understands local Accountant Sam Rahm is unpopular with his mates after cheapskating his way onto the Betoota Lakes Golf Club. 

A renowned tight ass, who’s infamous for buying schooners when the round is clearly pints, The Advocate believes the meagre display of clubs has been attributed to Rahm’s desire to save some money on fuel.

“Have you seen the price of petty at the moment boys?” exclaimed Rahm.

“I ran some numbers and it was gotta cost me $30 to drive here, every club I’ve taken out is probably saving me a couple of bucks each!”

Despite being friends since High School, Sam’s group of mates expressed to The Advocate that they’re no longer surprised by the Accountant’s ability to financially scrooge his way through any social situation.

In the words of close friend Nathan Scott, “His tight-assery know’s no bound’s, he’s truly a professional stinge!”

“He’s sat on his wallet all his life, every time we go to the pub he’s the first bloke to pull out his phone and tell us he’s got some coupon or a docket deal.”

“We went to dinner with him once and he pulled a spreadsheet to split the bill, I swear he would tally up the spring rolls per person if we gave him the chance.”

After borrowing Scott’s new Cobra King driver and successfully shanking his first shot of the day, The Advocate understands Rahm is already testing the patience of his mates with a 10 minute long stint scouring nearby bushes for lost golf balls.

“Sorry boys I’ll be with ya in a minute, I forgot to bring balls.” 

“Also, has anyone got a glove I can borrow?!”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey