City Starved Of Nightlife Queues For Two Hours For Quirky Take On Spring Rolls — The Betoota Advocate

City Starved Of Nightlife Queues For Two Hours For Quirky Take On Spring Rolls — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact

Residents of the World’s Most Boring City are sliding on their gumboots this week, excited to savour the taste of lukewarm asian cuisine served on a cardboard tray.

After a two-year hiatus, it’s understood Sydney’s most illustrious chefs are firing up their woks and BBQ plates, as the harbour city welcomes back its famous Night Noodle Market.

A popular street food festival that floods the feeds of Sydneysider’s Instagram pages during October, organisers say that they’re excited to put the festival back on for local singles, who are desperate for a first date option that isn’t novelty putt putt golf.

Speaking to one festival organiser, Marty Bao, it’s believed the festival this year has decided to increase its crowd capacity and also transition to a seat-less experience.

“We’ve gone all out this year with more stalls, more queues and even more fairy lights!”

“And we’re very excited to announce that this year we’re cashless, so people can see their bank accounts get rinsed in real time!”

“Sydney people are so starved of decent nightlife they’ll happily trudge through a muddy park for three hours to chew on some teriyaki pork on a stick, this festival is fast becoming a halo event on our city’s cultural calendar.”

A festival famous for it’s quirky take on asian cuisine, it’s understood Sydneysiders can expect some exciting dishes this year including Flying Noodles, Green Tea Infused Chips-On-A-Stick and the stoned uni students favourite, Mi Goreng Doughnuts.

Chatting to one local bachelor in attendance, Samuel Totti (29), it’s believed the long queues are creating the perfect environment for people to really get to know the matches they’ve met online.

“Yeah I’m on a first date tonight, but after lining up for an hour to buy six prawn dumplings, the conversation has run as dry as a twice cooked spring roll.”

“Anyway, do you know where the Messina stand is? Apparently they’ve admitted their Mango Pancakes are laced with Columbian crack, that’s why they’re so good!”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey