Christians Worried After Census Reveals Australians Are In The Corner And Losing Their Religion — The Betoota Advocate

Christians Worried After Census Reveals Australians Are In The Corner And Losing Their Religion — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

The Australian Bureau of Statistics has yesterday released their first traction of data, which reveals that those identifying as Christian has seen a drastic drop in the past decade, going from 52 per cent to now 44 per cent.

For context, when this same census was conducted in 1911, 96% Australians were of some form of Christian denomination.

This has understandably sent the nation’s churches into a frenzy, as they grow increasingly frantic that not only will they not have as many pawns in government to overturn anything that threatens the patriarchy, but that they won’t be able to continue their reign of corruption under the guise of morality.

Though the reasons for the dramatic decrease in Christianity can’t be exactly pinpointed, it’s likely due to a the millennial generation overtaking baby boomers, the growing desire to express individuality instead of belonging to rigid institutions, and easy access to the internet, which allows those who come from religious families to question their faith and seek information outside of their biassed circles.

OR maybe it’s just Satan, considering the myth of the devil purports that he will arm humans with knowledge that will draw them away from God, which suggests that he may have had a hand in the invention of Wi-Fi. 

Our reporter speaks to the head of the Betoota Baptist Church, John Goethe, for his thoughts on the findings, and some words of comfort in these trying times.

“It’s appalling to see Australians losing their religion”, says John, “it feels like it’s the end of the world as we know it.”

Adding that the nation needs to reflect on what this census means, John says we should ‘consider this the hint of the century.’

“Save yourself, serve yourself.”

“If you feel like you’re alone, no, you are not alone.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey