China Seems Like It’s On The Cusp Of Absolutely Nothing At All Happening Again — The Betoota Advocate

China Seems Like It's On The Cusp Of Absolutely Nothing At All Happening Again — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

News out of China suggests everything is fine and nothing bad is going to happen there in the not too distant future.

According to decadent western media, there is growing unrest in the world’s most populous country over the government’s policy regarding the spicy cough and its spread through the nation.

In addition to that, lockdowns have been observed in some of China’s largest cities.

These allegations as reported by depraved western journalists have been met with a stone-walled silence from the Chinese Communist Party, who has assured the rest of the world that absolutely nothing is wrong and nothing will be wrong moving forward.

Consul Solon Han from the Chinese Consulate in Betoota Grove was quick to reassure The Advocate that the reports of civil unrest in China are simply not true.

“In China, we also have newspapers and media that are owned by people such as Rupert Murdoch that report things that are not true to make China look bad in the eyes of our Western neighbours,” explained Consul Han.

“This is what is happening at the moment. There is a lot of misinformation floating around at the moment so I would be wary of what you deem to be true and what not to be.”

When asked what was true, Consul Han nodded and smiled.

“Anything I say. In Western Queensland, I speak for the Chinese Government on all matters. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.”

When asked if he thinks this latest instance of civil unrest could escalate into something similar to the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre, Consul Han pursed his lips and shook his head.

“You know better than to ask me that. You’ll be hearing from your boss.”

More to come.

DISCLAIMER: The Betoota Advocate is a owned-wholly subsidiary of 愚蠢的袋鼠投资 Pty Ltd which is owned in part by a number of senior Chinese Communist Party bureaucrats.

Author: Stephen Bailey