Cattle Industry In Chaos After Gossiping Aunty Diagnosed With Foot In Mouth Disease At Family BBQ — The Betoota Advocate

Cattle Industry In Chaos After Gossiping Aunty Diagnosed With Foot In Mouth Disease At Family BBQ — The Betoota Advocate


Farmers across the nation received a massive scare today, after a confusing mix-up originating out of our very own Betoota Heights.

The mix-up came in the horrifying form of confirmation that Foot and Mouth Disease had reached our shores.

Cattle, sheep, and pig farmers have been on edge about the news that Foot and Mouth Disease has spread to the popular tourist destination of Bali, with the devastating disease now a chance of wreaking havoc on our nation.

Fears have grown that tourists could bring back the viral disease that affects cloven-hoofed animals, which could cause endless misery to livestock and farmers as well as costing farmers, workers and the economy tens of billions of dollars.

And it was thought that the news that everyone was dreading had come, with a confirmed case in Betoota Heights.

However, there’s been a huge sigh of relief after it was confirmed that the case was actually a case of Foot IN Mouth Disease.

Not to be confused with the devastating disease that affects animals, Foot In Mouth is a condition whereby loudmouth gossipers tend to put their foot in their mouth, by saying things they shouldn’t.

The disease is common in aunties, stirrers, dipshit mates who don’t listen properly, and kids who aren’t aware of the severity of the things their parents have gossiped about.

The latest case of the disease was reported at a McQueen family BBQ last night, after Aunty Susie reportedly spilled the beans on why her niece (Jill) had split with her ex-boyfriend, who had been quite popular within the family.

After Jill’s dad had mentioned something about liking the ex, a three Chardy Susie apparently decided to let slip that Jill had accidentally had a little fling with her ex’s mate, which had caused the pair to part ways quite unceremoniously.

With, Jill’s cousin and a few other younger members of the family informed about the drama, details had previously been kept away from the oldies.

However, in a stupid drunken moment, Jill’s cousin had accidentally let some of the details slip to her mum, who in turn couldn’t keep the burning secret any longer.

The awkward silence following Aunty Susie’s latest gaffe since led epidemiologists to diagnose her with Foot In Mouth disease.

Thankfully the crossing of wires has now been cleared up, unlike the tension between Jill and Aunty Susie, who are still not talking.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey