Buckingham Palace Forgets To Send Funeral Invitation To The Publican At Betoota’s Royal Hotel — The Betoota Advocate

Buckingham Palace Forgets To Send Funeral Invitation To The Publican At Betoota's Royal Hotel — The Betoota Advocate

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Thousands of international dignitaries have today descended upon Britain to honour the life of Queen Elizabeth II.

In case you somehow didn’t already know, the late 96-year-old monarch died at her Balmoral residence in Scotland two weeks ago, triggering a heavily televised mourning period that almost feels longer than the 70 years she spent on the throne.

For some weird reason, the Australian media has made waves across the Commonwealth over the last fortnight for their extremely over-the-top and performative grieving – as all of our news networks remain committed to treating this historical moment like it really matters to their audiences.

The last two weeks of brazen sucking up to the Royal Family is even more embarrassing when you consider the fact that you could fit the amount of Australians that have been actually invited to the funeral into a maxi taxi.

Australian of the Year Dylan Alcott is among the 10 Australians who have travelled to London, alongside Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Governor-General David Hurley.

Celebrated horse trainer Chris Waller – best known for training four-time winner of Australian Horse of the Year, Winx – was also invited. However, he turned down the invitation over ‘COVID-19 fears’ – which is a polite way of saying ‘Spring Carnival starts this week’.

In addition to the British royal family — including Prince Harry and Meghan Markle — members of the royal families of Spain, Belgium, Norway, Denmark, Sweden and the Netherlands will also make an appearance.

However, Buckingham Palace is today facing backlash for not inviting anyone from one of the most iconic Royal institutions in Western Queensland. The Royal Hotel in Betoota.

Publican and former professional bullrider, Digby Dingle (45) says he’s absolutely ropeable he didn’t get a bait.

“30 years I’ve spent pouring beers in the name of the Queen” he says.

“I don’t wanna bang on about it. But I would’ve changed the name years ago If I knew I’d be forgotten on the funeral list”

“I even hosted her lunatic rednut grandson here back when he was jackarooing as a young fella. He’s the reason we only serve beer in plastic schooners after 8pm. Mad as a cut snake that little bastard”

When asked if this disrespectful treatment from the British Royal family has changed his views on an Australian republic, Digby doesn’t mince his words.

“Put it this way.” he says.

“We will be open on Thursday”

Author: Stephen Bailey