LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Betoota local Daniel Nagy has learnt his friends always thought he had a rude head ever since he shacked up with his conventionally attractive partner.
As an Australian heterosexual man, Nagy and his friends never pay each other compliments while sober, so he never thought it was odd that his friends have never confirmed if they find him attractive or not.
However, now that Nagy has an actual girlfriend who he and others find subjectively beautiful, his mates are chiming in to congratulate him and ask how the hell that happened considering he has a head like a dropped rissole.
“Mate, well done, you are absolutely punching,” stated an alleged friend who had secretly been rating Nagy’s hotness the whole time.
“I don’t mean that in an offensive way mate, I just mean that attractive people usually go out with other attractive people and she’s very attractive and obviously you are not.”
“Does that make sense?”
Although Nagy states he is happy in his new relationship, he could honestly do without everyone reminding him that on the outside he appears genetically inferior to his girlfriend.
“Why do people just assume I fluked this and am sleepwalking off a ledge like a Loony Tune?” asked Nagy, who we would feel sorry for if he wasn’t such a lucky bastard.
“Maybe I have a great personality? Perhaps I make a lot of money or have more hardware in my jocks than Mitre 10 inside of a Bunnings. Ever think about that?”
Our reporting team then shared a jest that Mitre 10 and Bunnings could be a funny comparison between him and his girlfriend which prompted him to immediately end the interview.