WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
US President Joe Biden has today announced a groundbreaking foreign policy.
The man in charge of the self-proclaimed home of the brave and the land of the free has revealed how he plans to de-escalate the situation with China.
Biden says he will pump a few hundred million dollars into producing the long-awaited fourth installment in the Rush Hour series.
“Rush Hour Four,” said Biden today, speaking in a very slow manner, before pausing for what seemed like 10-15 seconds.
“Look at it like an olive branch.”
Tensions between the two global superpowers are at a historic high after US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi decided to just pop into Taiwan and address their parliament.
China, who views Taiwan as a province of its nation, was understandably quite frustrated by the move, commencing military exercises nearby and sending a fuckload of planes buzzing around the place.
The US Ambassador to Beijing was also immediately summoned to China’s Foreign Ministry.
However, despite things looking like they are heating up around the Taiwan Strait, Biden is now hopeful of a peaceful resolution.
“Jackie (Chan) and Chris (Tucker) have both agreed to come together and help us make another Rush Hour,” said Biden today.
“And it’s gonna be like the first one, not that piece of shit third movie that they made.”
“So hopefully the Chinese government don’t censor and ban this movie because it could be a coming together of our peoples in the form of a hilarious slapstick cop comedy.”
“It’s gonna be a cracker!”
China has yet to respond to the news.
More to come.