“Better Turn Them” Says Bloke Who Rocked Up To BBQ With Bag Of Natural Corn Chips And Two Beers — The Betoota Advocate

"Better Turn Them" Says Bloke Who Rocked Up To BBQ With Bag Of Natural Corn Chips And Two Beers — The Betoota Advocate


A well manicured lawn in Betoota’s Flight Path District is reported to have hosted a catastrophic gaffe over the weekend, as a local man received unwarranted advice on one of the few domestic tasks he takes pride in.

Local mechanic Charlie Ledwidge (33) has had to endure the great displeasure of being instructed, from behind, while operating his own barbecue.

As the king of his own castle, the host takes great issue with this. However, given that the gaffe came from someone that was technically invited by his wife – he bites his tongue.

With the cheap woolies shit already cooked to perfection, the next batch on the hot plate were the thick gourmet snags – that the host paid a pretty penny for at the local butcher.

As the barbecue roared, and the salads getting thrown together in the kitchen. Charlie began preparing another plate for this second round of sausages to make their way to the table.

A premature move, according to the party’s resident barbie expert.

“Ooooh I don’t think they’re done yet” said Billy, an absolute ring-in who has arrived at this social event with two individual Heinekens and a bag of unsalted corn chips.

Charlie gives one of those glares that only gets as far as his shoulder, before Billy continues.

“Better turn them”

“They aren’t done yet”

“I don’t think”

As the newly-acquainted boyfriend of one of Charlie’s wife’s close friends, Billy gets off with zero repercussions – except for the blood-curdling silence from the host and all of the other blokes within earshot.

But he’s not done yet.

“Haha I swear nobody realises you gotta cook these ones for way longer”

“I reckon just leave em on for a while”

“Or else they’ll be pink in the middle”

“You don’t want that”

Charlie sighs and bottles up the white flame currently burning inside him – knowing full well that he had always intended to keep these snags on the plate for as long as they needed.

“Yeah that’s it, champ.” says Billy, now rolling the dice with aggravated assault.

“Give em a turn”

“Just like that”

Author: Stephen Bailey