Australia’s Labour Shortage Suddenly Resolved As Busted Crypto Bros Return To The Workforce — The Betoota Advocate

Australia's Labour Shortage Suddenly Resolved As Busted Crypto Bros Return To The Workforce — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The post-pandemic neoliberal mantra of ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ has finally been put to bed this week, as the Australian workforce experiences a much needed injection of skilled and unskilled man power.

Up until Thursday last week, the Australian economy was paralysed by a drastic nation-wide labour shortage. From cafes, hotels through to farms and factories – business owners and lobby groups were screaming out for a bit of elbow grease.

This has all changed, however, as the great Crypto winter begins.

The value of cryptocurrencies has plummeted spectacularly in recent months, and it seems the bottom is lower than anyone expected. The price of Bitcoin dropped to $US15,985, according to CoinDesk, its lowest level since December 2020. It had been above $20,000 earlier in the week. The other major cryptocurrency, Ethereum, was down 13%.

Bitcoin once traded for almost $69,000 per coin, but began its recent fall from grace back in May when it fell below the psychological floor of $US20,000 due to a broader crypto market crash. In one week alone in June Bitcoin dropped by 30%, and as of late October, was still trading at around the $US20,000 mark. As we enter the second week of November, it’s dropped another 5k.

This crash has seen hundreds of thousands of young men handing back in their leased Audis this week and dusting off the old high-vis PPE.

Right across the country, young blokes are coming to terms with the fact that their little foray into cryptocurrencies is over. Some are trying to buy back in, but the vast majority have just cut their losses and gotten real jobs.

“Wow” said Prime Minister Albanese today, after looking at the statistics informing him that the labour shortage crisis is over.

“Who would have thought that our problem was young Australian blokes trying to get rich quick”

“I could’ve sworn it was stagnating wages and the closed borders stifling our supply of indentured servants from Europe”

“Turns out it was just a bunch of blokes listening to too much Gary Vee and trying to be their own bosses”

Author: Stephen Bailey