WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local Betoota Heights woman has today done her bit to contribute the newest body of land on planet earth.
Kimberly Wilson (28) from our town’s aspirational district did so after popping into her local Kmart to see what kind of cheap plastic shit she could buy for her nephews 2nd birthday.
“Don’t hate the participant in the game, hate the game,” sighed Kimberly, browsing through some cheaply made toys that will be played with once or twice before being dumped somewhere and eventually making their way out to the Great Pacific Garbage patch.
“I hate that we have to buy gifts for these young kids who don’t really have enough cognitive ability to understand anything other than the attention that comes with the gift,” laughed the young woman living pay cheque to pay cheque.
“But, it’s just the done thing, and I had to buy my other nieces and nephews gifts, so I can’t bail on young Toby.”
“It’s called consumerism,” she laughed.
“Besides, my brother is fairly highly strung, so if I didn’t get a present he and his partner would assume it was some veiled attack on them.”
“So, it’s this rip off Tonka truck which will float out in the Pacific until they finally come up with an enzyme that eats plastic.”
No more to come.