Anthropologists Discover Last Known Man-Bun On Head Of Regional Nightclub Security Guard — The Betoota Advocate

Anthropologists Discover Last Known Man-Bun On Head Of Regional Nightclub Security Guard — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

There’s exciting news for the anthropology community today, as a group of researchers from Royal Betoota University confirm the discovery of the last known man-bun in existence.

The Advocate is excited to report that over the weekend several seniors lectures from the social science department accidentally came across the ancient relic, which could be the last one in the southern hemisphere.

“We were out for our bi-monthly social, and for once we decided to scrap our board games night playing Settlers of Catan and instead enjoy a few shandys at some pubs close to the Uni,” said Dr Jenny Babidge, a senior lecturer within the school of social science department.

“After we knocked back some cheap student drinks at ‘The Sink’, the uni bar on campus, we strolled past ‘Amnesia’, that nightclub there in Betoota mall, and sure enough there it was, sitting so perfectly on the head of the security guard on the door.”

“We thought that the last man-bun died out years ago when that show Vikings started to get a little boring, but this discovery will rewrite the hairstyle history books, we’ve surely found the last one in existence.”

Speaking to the seccy in question, The Advocate can confirm local nightclub bouncer Brett Caruso does indeed still sport a haircut local bullies would describe as ‘a pull-start for a fuckwit’.

Standing on the door of one of Betoota’s premier rave cave establishments, Brett told our reporter he likes his hair just the way it is.

“Mate, where have you been and how many drinks have you had?” Brett fired back to our reporter, with a few questions of his own.

“One more of your dumb questions and I’ll choke you out before the cops come,” snarled Brett, a little uneasy to have his fashion sense questioned.

“Keep walking or I’ll dish out a life ban from this club, I’m a purple belt in jiu-jitsu you know!”

Author: Stephen Bailey