EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
In a decision that has raised eyebrows across the nation, Anthony Albanese has met with New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern to discuss how the two countries can merge into one, with Albo stating that it made sense ‘economically’ and that foreigners mistake the two accents anyway.
Kicking off with some discussions about what the countries could do to improve living standards and tackle climate change, the two leaders agreed to ‘reset their relationship’, which may or may not have been a dig at Scotty, and that it would be better to ‘work together’ instead of viewing each other as competition.
This is said to have segued into a playful discussion as to which country had the rights to Russell Crowe, which then prompted Albo to spitball a ‘wild and wacky’ idea he’d been harbouring for years – but first, he had to gauge Ardern’s thoughts.
Stating that both countries can say they were for the homeland of Rusty, Albo gently inquires if perhaps it would just be easier for Australia and New Zealand to simply join forces, and become one country.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while”, said Albo, conspiratorially, “but what are your thoughts on me fucking off Tasmania for New Zealand?”
Adding that he might give them to Argentina, Albo says Australia would be happy to return to the name ‘New Holland’, to meet Ardern in the middle.
“You know it makes sense, I know it makes sense.”
“Our flags are practically the same, I’ll whip a star off if ya want.”
“I know you’ve turned us down before, but I think we can give it another shot.”
When Arden pulls a face, a defeated Albo sighs and says he understands that she might not be ready to take the relationship to that level just yet.
“Alright, fair, let’s take it slow.”
“Can you at least take Julian Assange? I don’t want to deal with him haha.”
More to come.