WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The boss of Australia’s favourite airline has today moved to hose down any silly questions from the nation’s reporters.
Alan Joyce has quickly assured the public not to get any funny ideas after Qantas posted a record $1.4 billion half year profit.
“Don’t be stupid, Qantas doesn’t pay tax,” laughed the man who raked in a $23.9 million pay packet in 2019.
“That’s how basic economics works you morons.”
Joyce’s comments come as the airline posts a bumper profit during an economic crisis for people who who don’t rake in millions of dollars a year.
The $1.4 billion profit follows a $1.3 billion loss last year, with Joyce claiming credit for turning the company around despite a shocking year of delays, cancellations, in-flight emergencies, staff strikes and luggage going to the other end of the world.
“Our re-structuring and stream lining of the business has allowed us to move forward into the future,” explained Alan Joyce about the sacking of stuff and the price gouging of customers post lockdowns.
“We’ve set it up so that we had so many years of such bad losses, that we won’t be paying tax for years,” continued Joyce in reference to the fancy accountants his company has to avoid paying tax at any costs.
When asked whether the government would see any return on the $2.35 billion they just gave the private company with no strings attached, Joyce started laughing again.
“Stop,” he giggled.
“You are cracking me up.”
More to come.